when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
