Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
