Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
