sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
