my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.