i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
