dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
