some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"