is wine microwaveable?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.