Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.