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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.

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• (607): View more from New York

  It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)

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• (207): View more from Maine

  You said your dick dragged you up the stairs

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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• (512): View more from Texas

  That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Is your card paying for my plan b?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT

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