i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she pinky promised me she was 18
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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