He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize