Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
