lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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