ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
