Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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