He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
