I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
