I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
