i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
