It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize