i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize