And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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