Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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