Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
