My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
