i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize