if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
