What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
