whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
