You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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