Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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