Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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