Buhtt sex?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
