i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Im part way to drunk.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
