I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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