hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
