finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
