If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
