I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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