You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
