I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
