Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize