The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
