ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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