Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
