ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
