Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
