I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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