do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
