So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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