i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
