I love black thongs
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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