Having a random hookup so left but love u
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize