I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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