chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Randomize
