I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
