my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need a beard to bite.
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