If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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